October!

Well, It's October 9th, I've been here just over a month in Victoria; it seems crazy.

So far I've handed in two of the 21 projects I have to complete before December 9th... It's about to get crazy. With that being said, I will for sure have to arrange some down time for myself so I don't go crazy.

Anyway, it's thanksgiving weekend and tonight I went to my roommate Lauren family's house. It was great to be around a big family for the night. She has a niece and a nephew who of which are 3 and 6, they are too cute and definitely make the evening interesting. Ofcourse there was turkey and all the fixings and I made a home made pumpkin pie.. from real pumpkin that I boiled and blended this morning. My brother's girlfriend is a pastry chef and she didn't even do that much work for her pie!!

So happy I could spend time with great people, but it has started to feel that in times like these, there is someone missing... which ofcourse brings me to my next point...

Love. See that word seems to scare the crap out of a lot of people. For me, I don't think that word should be thrown around lightly in any relationship and to be honest in my young life, I think I've only said it once and I feel like I didn't know what it's real value was.

Not that I'm significantly older than the time I said it to the person I said it to, I just think I'm more "wiser" in knowing what it really means. Anyways, not having been in a "serious" relationship since then, nor was that relationship all that "serious" -anyways- I think it's just become evident to me that sometimes you almost wish you had someone to be there at the end of the day.

Now, I will never say that your happiness lies within someone else, because happiness is something you create from within, but I would almost say that sometimes happiness is more easily created because of certain situations. Being out here on my own has put a lot into perspective. Before I left Toronto, I was openly seeing someone for 9 months. Not that we were committed to one another; neither of us wanted it. But I can definitely say that I miss having that person around, because as much as we were never together, there were times where he was the only person I wanted to be next to.

Towards the end of our time together, we never really got to say "see you later"(because I hate goodbyes)and in my eyes this made the situation much easier. I guess now, being a month without someone like that around it has almost made me wonder if I want to start putting myself out there for a relationship. I mean, that doesn't mean I'm going to walk around tomorrow wearing a T-shirt that says "Future husband say's what?" but I feel like if you put those vibes out into the universe, maybe something with come to you. Hopefully something you want.

I also know, that at the same time, it really isn't a good idea. I'm here in Victoria until Christmas, when I go home for 3.5 weeks and then I'll be back for a mere 6 months until I head off to Malaysia.(Hopefully) And I plan on stopping in England on my way there (that's a whole blog post for another day)and well not by any means did I ever plan on doing any of this attached to someone, or having someone come with me. This next year, possibly two is my own adventure. I'm nearly twenty, this is MY time.

Anyways, as I'm sure you can see, I don't really know what I want and well, I for sure know I'm done being somebody's optional girlfriend.

Love seems like some sort of limbo act, now doesn't it?

Hope your thanksgiving was great; if your canadian like me!

With love,

Kaitlin


P.s That is a picture of my school. How beautiful, I know, right?!