Don't you want to stay here, a little while.

I'm sitting here looking at an empty room. Suitcase packed, white walls and an empty wardrobe- I don't think anyone could of prepared me for this moment. 

There's a mixture of emotions going on in my head. Part of me wants to throw a fit like a 5 year old, throw my hands in the air and say "IM NOT GOING" another part of me wants to just run- and never look back in this direction again. 

"Sometimes you just need to get out of town- get a new perspective. But you can't always see that you need a new perspective... Because you, well..  You need a new perspective to be able to see that. 

It's complicated.

Open your eyes, what do you see... More possibilities? Does your new view give you more hope? That's the goal. Although, it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes a shift in perspective just makes you see what you've lost."

- Grey's Anatomy

And as my favourite television show reminds me again and again, life is complicated. It's messy and your feelings get hurt, and you take a job in a country that is so completely foreign to you, that you're not sure if it will be an incredible experience or a huge mistake. 

But you know what the moral in that story is? That it's life. It's a series of choices, situations and reactions that lead you to every next moment you face. 

And as I sit and stare at my passport, my expires visa for London, the stamps of the cities I've been, the time line of my life- one thing remains true- you can always come back.

I'm so excited for Stockholm I'm terrified- but I know if it didn't scare the hell out of me, I wouldn't want to do it. 

I'm still mending my broken heart, but I know the hardest moment will be tomorrow morning, as I sit in the airport, alone, knowing there isn't someone coming along on this adventure with me. 

The good part to that though, is that who's to say there isn't someone waiting on the other side, who's to say the person here comes to realise all that he had is now gone, and chases after it. And who's to say I never really needed someone beside me, because all along, I knew I would be okay on my own. 

We'll never know the biggest day of our lives until we're smack damn in the middle of it. 

So my bags are packed, my passport and credit cards in hand, the two essential pieces I need to keep going through this chapter in my life. 

London has been the best so far, but who's to say Stockholm won't be better. 

London, I'll miss your city lights, chaos,  scenery, high streets, massive parks, delicious restaurants, 3am night bus journeys (okay, maybe not), the friends you gave me, the love I found, and the one thing that made me grow- fear. Because the fear of failing sat so forefront in my mind, that if I messed this up, I'd have a shit story to go back to Canada with. 

Let the fear of striking out- make you win the game. 

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all. - Helen Keller