Fight or Flight

Backed in a corner, your hearts racing, it gets hard to breath... you feel like you can't move, speak, or think straight.

All you want, so badly, is exactly what you've been chasing, dreaming, hoping...

You realize now more than anything you have two choices: fight, or flight.

If you choose flight, you go back to a life you love- a city you miss daily, friends and family that will selfishly admit they would rather you come home, opportunities that you've had, the known, the comfortable... the familiar.

If you choose fight, you have to muster up everything you have, every ounce of strength, every free moment, you have to give it all you've got and more, just to make headway on getting to your dream... an international lifestyle- a new country, new friends, new job, a new life- the unknown, the exciting and unfamiliar.

Sometimes it's easy to want to give up, throw in the cards, because you've heard "no, or not at the moment" all to often. You get frustrated, sick of people telling you that your moving too fast. Saddened by someone who you care about telling you..."Welcome to Life", as if I haven't been living it for the last 20 years. You so badly want to throw in the towel, raise your white flag and surrender, because it's too hard. But there's that feeling in your stomach, one that won't let you sleep at night, the one that distracts you in the middle of lecture... it's the burning desire for success, your passion.

Success comes in all sorts of shapes, and forms. And though I'd love to see myself finish my on-campus learning at the end of May, get on a plane to London and have a supervisory or management title, reality is... you have to start somewhere, and well... it might take 9 months to a year, or more to get there... but I'll do a lot of learning along the way.

I guess right now, I'm feeling a little discouraged, a little 'down and out' if you will. It's hard when your support system is 4,000 km away, and what you have here isn't necessarily amounting to what you wanted.. and as much as I am driven, strong and able... sometimes you just want to hear " I believe in you" or " ofcourse you're going to do it" from the people that are closest to you.

I mean, I know self motivation is better than anything else anyone can say, because when you arrive; when you get there- you have no one to thank but your self. But dammit, you get stuck sometimes and fear the worst- back to the known, the comfortable... the familiar, basically, my ultimate defeat.

But you know what, as much as I sit here, and write this out, and think it through... I know I'll get there. I've put in way to much effort and time in all of this, and I know that I can put even more in.

So when faced with your back against the wall, in a moment when you feel like your dream might slip away forever... remember to fight. Because if you let it get the best of you, you flee the situation, you'll never forgive yourself, and that's something I just can't life with.