Autumn In Stockholm

I arrived back in Stockholm on August 27th and before I knew it, it was the 1st of November.

Time fly's by so quickly, months turn into days and days into hours, and well hours into minutes, and everything just comes rushing at you, it's almost like you can't get your head to stop spinning.

Since coming back to Stockholm, settling in and thrown into it all at the Club, it's been like climbing up the side of a mountain, unsure of your rest points, if you'll ever really make it to the top, or if your safety rope might break and you'll fall to your death -okay, maybe not that dramatic-but still, fight or flight, preserver, stay motivated, or just like any new city, you'll get lost in it all.

I remember what it was like moving to London, at first it was this super exciting thing, and then the novelty of the new thing wore off, and then I hated London, I was going to leave and before I knew it I found a new reason to stay, a new exciting adventure to be apart of, and that falling in love makes you see something in an entirely different perspective.

I think what is unique about me being here in Stockholm, is that though this was not what I had planned on, not what I was working towards, not my dream, it's become everything I wanted, and everything I need for a little while.

There is something to be said about new city, new friends, new job, new adventures... but there is also a new sense of self discovery, life after the heartbreak of both ex boyfriends and ending visas, this time, these last two and a half months, have given me a three hundred and sixty degree perspective on who I was and who I am now, and who I want to be.

I have always been really focused on my career and though it may not seem like that from the outside perspective, for me, it's been in every decision I've made since I started college and studying hotels and hospitality. Every job I took was a stepping stone to the next and though I started off with wanting to do something else entirely, my former job at the legendary Savoy Hotel in London, was a huge player in my career goals, and after realizing that five star is amazing, I'm so glad I got to be apart of it,  it wasn't really me. Working with the talented colleagues and bartenders however, that changed me, that made me excited about bars and cocktails and spirits and I would of never thought about becoming a bartender, but after watching a friend win a global compeition and seeing the rest of the guys I work with compete and the opportunity to work with a World Class bartender, I think that's what got me interested, the fact that there was more to just making a cocktail, it was about becoming a storyteller for my guests, a comedian, a counsellor, a temporary friend, for the people sitting on the other side of that bar top. The ability to create not just amazing drinks, but an experience, and that's totally something I have always wanted working in this industry. The guest experience has always been my major focus and working corporate totally shaped that.

In the independent and small company I work for now, with just two other bartenders and a part time bartender, with a small team, I'm exposed to so much. I've learned more in the last two and a half months than I did in two years. 

I think more than anything I have found what I am looking for, which is just the opportunity to build who I am, both personally and professionally and I can confidently say, that I am happy, even though sometimes I can be a little bit lonely here. 

With the confidence of conquering a new city, I am returning to the city that stole my heart, that almost feels like everytime I go back, I never actually left. A few days in London will help me gain a bit more perspective on life here in Stockholm. I am excited to catch up with old friends and though the memories of what the city once meant to me, I think I'm finally clean of all that. 

And though here I am seven months after the fact, the initial heartbreak is over and I've spent so much time on what I want and now that I am standing right in the middle of it, who I am and who I am longing to be, it's never been a better feeling. 

And now with all of this I encourage you to take a second, think about if you're proud of who you are today, can you wake up and be proud of everything you're working towards. 

Be proud, be present, and just keep going. 

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield. 

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