I go back to December all the time.

One year six months has passed in London now, and no matter how many times I say it, or think about it... the more surreal I sometimes find my life to be. December has always been a huge self reflection month for me, this December I turn 22 and sometimes I need to slow down and catch my breath to realize how amazing things are and how incredibly well I have done for myself in my short life so far.

Turning 22 is not a significant birthday, but as I slowly creep my way into my early twenties I wonder what I might be able to accomplish next. So many thoughts and ideas have run through my mind about what could be next for myself, where I could  go, what I can do and where I will end up. 

If you asked me a year ago where I was heading once my visa ran out in London I'd probably tell you I was thinking of heading back to Canada, maybe to the west coast, or that I thought that Australia would be a cool idea because it's a beach and who wouldn't mind slumming it there for a year... If you asked me 6 months ago I would of told you that my boyfriend was thinking about taking a job abroad with his best friend's Dad's company, or that maybe we would go to Australia together. Ask me today where I think I'll be after my visa runs out in April, well, I'm almost certain I am going to do my absolute damnedest to stay here. 

I thought about my life a lot over the last six months and I realized something, London has made me experience so many things lots of highs and a few lows and at this point, if I know I can stay (all be it, with some minor visa issues with a new job and sponsor ship.. which I'm sure I will achieve) then why not stick to it for another two years and see where life is then?

Ofcourse my boyfriend is someone who changed my mind, and I need to be honest with myself in knowing that, because if it all went away with us tomorrow, I wouldn't change my mind because for me, the next job I'm looking to get is going to be a career game changer for me, something I feel will be a bit more professional and let me use my "academic" brain that I spent $ 20,000 on in school. So, all be it, silly to make a choice because of someone, it's not like me to do that... errr. Okay, it is, but if not now, then when? and if not him then who? and if you don't try then what? I am a firm believer that it will always work out in the end, because if it doesn't then it's not the end. And let me tell you it certainly was not easy getting my current job from the west coast of Canada, so if I did it once and I didn't know anyone, I'm more than certain that I can do it again with knowing contacts and having a support system near and far that will help me with this.

Another two years in London could lead to a lot of things, both personally and professionally, so I will try I will work hard and I will achieve on something new for myself, because I know I can. 

As this year comes to a close, so many moments rush into my mind, so many emotions... it's a bit overwhelming. I just am so proud of everything I've done with myself, with work and with love that I have high hopes for what is next to come. I've pushed hard this year on me, tried to learn to relax a bit better, worked really hard in the gym to achieve a positive and healthy fitness goal (which I am on target to hit before 22). I've learned that sometimes it's better to listen than speak, and that even if there is a double standard to what you should be doing at work, always go by the "handbook" and you really can't be at fault. That loving someone takes everything you've got when you're emotions are tried and there is pressure from everything around you. I've learned that when it literally all seems to be crashing down on you, you will always get through it, even if it takes a bit of time or space, or talking it through.. alot. The best things always come out on top, and the crap in your life, soon fades away in the distance. 

The hardest part so far this year though has been losing someone so close to me. And I miss him everyday, because I know how excited he would be to hear about what happened next. I'm just so glad that before he passed I got to tell him that everything was going to work out in the end and that I loved him so much. It's hard to know that he won't be hear to see so many things come to life, but I know even know after his death, he's still with me. 

My hopes are high for 2014, my family faced a lot of sadness this year, but as we lose something, we always gain something else, so I hope for the new year to be good to us. I am excited to see where this all goes, where I end up working, and what another Christmas in London will feel like.

I think it's time to set some new goals professionally, personally and to plan a bit more travel for 2014. So get planning!

Merry Christmas.