Today.

It's been a long time coming this post. Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, I was without a laptop for about 2 months and well, January was interesting... needless to say, I'm happy to be putting pen.. well words to computer screen again.

Today is April 2, 2013 and I am slowly approaching the one year mark to being here in the UK (May24). It's slightly overwhelming to thing that it's almost been a year and so much has happened. I've set some goals for myself and accomplished them, seen a few other countries and fell in love.

Falling in love has been the best part of this year, and I couldn't be happier. I think that things come when you need them the most, and after all my heartbreak with the man who brought me to London, to only be inlove with his ex-girlfriend and basically tell me to fuck off.... yeah, love comes when you need it the most. 

I met my man on my birthday, which I think was both unexpected and probably the best birthday gift I could have ever asked for. We hit it off straight away and have been basically insperable since then. Well, except for the time I went to Canada for 11 days, it was really hard, but it made me realize a lot more about London. After spending almost two weeks away from a city I wasn't sure if I actually liked, everything sort of came full circle to me on my 7 hour plane ride back to London. 

As I sat down and reminisced about the last two weeks of seeing my family and some of my closest friends, so much of my life began to make sense, because I realized that Toronto, though it will always be "home, or where I am from" home is within you, and well, London is my home now, my life is here and on that 7 hour plane ride back to London, I realized how much I missed and couldn't wait to get back to. While I was visiting Toronto, I also realized that I was in love with Hadley, because I couldn't go a day without speaking to him, or an hour without talking to someone about it, he just consumed my thoughts, even in my everyday and I realized I didn't want to live without him.

I think love sort of consumes you, takes you over and just dictates your thoughts. You have no choice in the matter, your heart very much decides that you want to spend your afternoons day dreaming about your lives together, or your nights cuddled in next to him. I think the last time I felt this love was a few years ago when I was about 17 and dating my highschool boyfriend. He was my first love and I will always care about him. But this time, I love Hadley with what seems to be every inch of my being, as extremely cheesy as that sounds, but when you're in love, you're in love, and the world knows it. I feel so lucky, like I've found the person that gets me, can make me laugh, cheer me up when I'm sad, make me smile and let me live in the warmth of their heart, that I hope to forever call home.

I think that there is a bright future for us, though plans always change, we are looking to move somewhere else together after my visa expires for London, so I am hoping that we can do that together. 

London has been good these last few months, I've been working out alot and am about 10lbs away from my final weight goal, so I'm hoping by June 1st I'll be there. Ten pounds is a lot of weight, but if I work hard, stick to the healthy things in life, then I should get there just fine.

Though everything else in my life has been great, I find myself facing a great challenge these days. I find myself to be extremely unhappy, unmotivated and not exactly challenged in my role at work. For me, I think I have finally hit that brick wall, and it's telling my it's time for a change. Devastated I will be to leave me colleagues, however excited to move onto something new. So over the next two months I hope to make the change into a role and a department that will demand more from me and my knowledge of hotels, and use more of my academic side of thinking on a day to day basis. I want to feel like I have done a little bit more with my career by the time I leave London, and with one year left, I think it's time to start thinking about my 5 year career goals, and how I can achieve them.. though still not knowing what exactly they are.

I think being in your twenties is very challenging, as there is the pressure before your 25 to "do it while you're young, because you'll not be able to do it later" but also the pressure from your old classmates, or colleagues, to progress yourself so that by 30 your not just a supervisor because you finally got promoted. A friend sent me a youtube video the other day about society and how following the crowd or the societal standard isn't always going to make you successful. Though I didn't make it through the 30 minutes video, the first 3 minutes were enough to get me thinking that sometimes you can take a few steps back to make a giant leap forward, or if it means you have to be a little more serious when you're 21 to take that supervisor or manager job because it will be the best thing for you, then do it. I think you have to say yes to as many opportunities as possible, because yes, life does get challenging when you have a family; though I vowed no children before 30, so I have 9 years to "do it while I am young" as society would encourage.

It feels slightly surreal to sit here and write this out. I feel accomplished, excited and motivated to move forward in every aspect of my life. I knew coming to London would be a journey, both literally and emotionally speaking, but I could never have imagined that it would be like this. I've grown so much, learned so much, felt so much and seen so much in my time here, and I have nothing else to describe it, other than how absolutely lucky I am.

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy- it's all that matters" - Audrey Hepburn