Summer.

Where to begin?

Yesterday marks 3 weeks that I've been in Stockholm. It's been an adventure so far, and let's just say the story is about to get A LOT more interesting.

I think my first reaction to Stockholm was a bit surreal. This place I'd been working towards moving to for 3 months, finally happened. I landed on my own two feet, had a job, somewhere temporary to stay, and was waiting for my working holiday visa to be processed.

Challenged by the waiting game, frustrated by the language barrier, and unsure of the currency conversion, it posed to be a place that I would quickly sink or swim in. My initial reaction after about 72 hours was "give it a month and if you really hate it, then look into other options"... which changed to "give it the summer and if it sucks, then go back to Canada, sort out your visa for Australia and get on a plane." I think at first I very much came here to prove a point, to basically say " well, I invested my time into something, and because someone gave up on me doesn't mean I'm giving up on myself". It very much felt like I was living someone else "dream" or idea, especially because every Swede I met kept saying "so what the heck are you doing in Stockholm"... Good question.

The more I sat down and thought about it, the more I looked into the last few weeks of my life, the more I thought to myself... well, I've just made a huge mistake. But then, the more time I spent with my colleagues at the Club, the more things I roamed around seeing, the more I started to discover that I could define the reason I was here. The opportunity I have working at this cocktail bar will not only show me another side of the bar industry, but it will give the opportunity to make me more well rounded as a person, it gives me the ability to learn more about spirits and furthers my passion in the industry. I now realise how much I actually love this job and can't wait to get back to Stockholm in August.

Which brings me to my next point. Visas. Immigration. Government processes and well, being a non-EU citizen has its severely complicated issues. As a Canadian, we have partnerships with many countries, including many in the EU for a "working holiday exchange program" which depending on the country, allows you to work 1-2 years and travel within the country to experience "life and culture" in another part of the world. That's how I got to London and that was the same way I was going to be in Stockholm. The only problem I'm faced with now, is the fact that my visa is going to take much longer than anticipated for the application to be approved... what was said to be 6-8 weeks is actually more of a 3 month process, and as frustrating as that is, well I am stuck in a rock and hard place with this, as I can't stay and work here, and it will put me out too much so I have to go back to Canada. 

I am desperately trying to find the silver lining here, as there is nothing more I dislike than living in a city I have sort of 'overcome' as a person. I am glad its filled with people I love that are excited for my short 8 week return and I hope that I can made the best out of a bad situation and work hard, make some decent cash and catch up with friends and family over the 8 weeks. 

I think its hard to deal with the ongoing battle of visa situations, but I always knew it would be the biggest "red tape" on my dreams of travel and living abroad, but being put in a situation like this also proves a point that I've always raised in living abroad or giving advice to someone considering it: you can always go back to where your from. And in this situation, I have to. Everyone knows I genuinely don't want to- but its the best choice to make to insure I stay on top of my finances and don't step on anyone's toes with visas and immigration.

Though the daunting voice of my ex runs through my head as I remember him saying how complicated these things get, and how much of a hassle it would be to go back and forth across the Atlantic ocean, but there is nothing I can do, it's out of my hands, and those were the cards I've been dealt in life, for now atleast.

It's totally my dream to call Europe home for good, though my heart is set in London right now, and I cannot tell you how excited I am to head back to Toronto, simply because I get to be in London not once, but twice this summer. However, I know how I fell in love with London and I feel like I could definitely feel the same about Sweden, or maybe any other country in Europe I may end up in.  I've totally adopted the idea that the world is in fact my oyster, and I plan on seeing as much as I can not just now, but throughout my life. I know the whole "do it while your young" phrase sticks in my mind, but who says you can't be 44 and roam the streets of Istanbul? Amsterdam? Mumbai?

I don't ever want to limit myself to one place, or one way of life, I know I want to settle somewhere, so I can always know I can go back there, but at the same time, I'm happy to spend 6 months of the year somewhere else, if that's what is required of me. I think the key in all of this, is that I do know what I want. Maybe not the exact specifics, but the general ideas of travel, hospitality, and international experience... they're all things I will continue to strive for. I think you're lucky when you know what you want, because I feel like when you don't, when you have no clue, you get scared when opportunity is put in front of you, you pass it down because your not sure of the outcome. I would never say any of this is easy, I would never recommend it for the fainthearted but you know what? I would always recommend doing something that scares the hell out of you, and trying everything twice in life... so you can really make a true judgement call on if you like it or not.

I've got about 10 days left here in Stockholm, so I plan on doing a few things over the weekend and early next week, just to feel like I've seen a little bit more, and can feel confident with coming back. As I said to a friend today, it's not like I'm gone for 8 years, it's just 8 weeks... and as my other friends said to me late the other night- think of it as a little vacation with your friends who have known you since you were 12/13 and will constantly remind you of who you were and what you wanted before all of this unfolded.

I think it's crucial to always reflect on what you've done, where you've come from and where you might be going. The more you question your behavior as a person, the more you ask yourself questions, demand from yourself reasons and push yourself through challenges, the more self aware you become, and I think we all strive for that a lot in life, and sometime struggle because were scared of the answers.

Don't be afraid to be a bit hard on yourself, but always remember to grant praise where praise is due and go with your gut, because nine times out of ten, it was completely right.

I'll leave you with this...

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield. - One Week.





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